And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
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One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
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We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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