How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
