that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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