A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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