What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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