you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Randomize
