Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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