I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
