i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
