...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
