have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
