im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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