Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
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