Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
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