he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
