hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
