We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
