do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Randomize
