Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
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He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
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I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
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