there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Randomize
