Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
