remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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