The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
