See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
as a side note pls kill me
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
