There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
