dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
