Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
What drink are we having for lunch?
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
