Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
