we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
