hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I can't put those talents on a resume
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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