He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
