i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
I did not marry a roomba.
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