Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
