I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
