That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
