Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
Randomize
