oh god the rape fog is back!
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
