The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
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surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
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Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Floor bacon is actually really good
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