so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
We had to coat check the pizza.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
