grandma shit on top of the toilet
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
All I want is dick and wine.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
