I've blown a few things in my day
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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