i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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