I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
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