With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
