I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
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