dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
He shit in the fireplace
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
