I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
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come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
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The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize