Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
