we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
25 Seemingly Normal Things That Give Some People Massive Anxiety
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?