Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(281): View more from Texas

Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno

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(816): View more from Missouri

you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened

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(943): View more from

You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka

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19 Parents Admit the Lies They’ve Told Their Children
Read it at the TFLN blog
(513): View more from Ohio

I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.

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(864): View more from South Carolina

It's official drugs can't kill me

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(903): View more from Texas

Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat

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(410): View more from Maryland

There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.

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(269): View more from Michigan

I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.

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