see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
