Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(845): View more from New York

At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.

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(845): At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare. http://tfl.nu/jdv9

Replies (21) Good night (642) Bad night (1829)
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(630): View more from Illinois

Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.

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(630): Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun. http://tfl.nu/krwt

Replies (8) Good night (728) Bad night (2072)
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(304): View more from West Virginia

Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.

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(304): Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism. http://tfl.nu/d61m

Replies (18) Good night (5356) Bad night (675)
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(917): View more from New York City

did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?

(914): View more from New York

you mean faeutihaers?

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(917): did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night? (914): you mean faeutihaers? http://tfl.nu/mcba

Replies (34) Good night (10735) Bad night (1277)
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(301): View more from Maryland

It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.

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(301): It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have. http://tfl.nu/pc4d

Replies (30) Good night (2915) Bad night (7618)
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(317): View more from Indiana

Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.

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(317): Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace. http://tfl.nu/qgcb

Replies (8) Good night (1467) Bad night (3155)
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(315): View more from New York

Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.

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(315): Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes. http://tfl.nu/lvfu

Replies (3) Good night (2154) Bad night (952)
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(910): View more from North Carolina

Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!

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(910): Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?! http://tfl.nu/gina

Replies (13) Good night (1310) Bad night (6649)
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(630): View more from Illinois

I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.

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(630): I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry. http://tfl.nu/bzms

Replies (9) Good night (1312) Bad night (2540)
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(713): View more from Texas

She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon

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(713): She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon http://tfl.nu/tsuo

Replies (3) Good night (1569) Bad night (733)
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(936): View more from Texas

The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.

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(936): The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses. http://tfl.nu/nf3m

Replies (3) Good night (2247) Bad night (1134)
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(567): View more from Ohio

For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.

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(567): For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts. http://tfl.nu/swyw

Replies (10) Good night (2026) Bad night (891)
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(248): View more from Michigan

Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.

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(248): Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents. http://tfl.nu/4qnq

Replies (6) Good night (2480) Bad night (645)
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(518): View more from New York

I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.

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(518): I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive. http://tfl.nu/rul5

Replies (7) Good night (1996) Bad night (528)
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(406): View more from Montana

fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke

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(406): fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke http://tfl.nu/cbs1

Replies (1) Good night (612) Bad night (246)

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