Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize