Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(214): View more from Texas

My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"

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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you

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(770): View more from Georgia

Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.

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27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Read it at the TFLN blog
(210): View more from Texas

Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.

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(862): View more from New Jersey

Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.

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(803): View more from South Carolina

We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.

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(360): View more from Washington

blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation

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(425): View more from Washington

Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.

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