i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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