he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
