Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
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