Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
