my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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