I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
