Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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