Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
She just used a chaser for red wine.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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