what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
