Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
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