He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
