Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
