btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
