the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
wat bout pragnant strippers??
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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