Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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